| Hmm | Ask Them out for a Friendly Outing | ! | In a Conversation that Hopefully Manages to Mention the Fact that Your Flushed Quadrant is Currently |- Conveniently -| Open |
| Or | Have You Assessed Their Actual Interest Yet | ? | Because | If Not | And You Know that They're Single | Perhaps Stage a Break-up with a Non-Existent Beau | Or | If You have any Amicable Pityfriends | Convince Them to Break Up with You Noisily in Front of Your Desired Beau | In a way that Manages to Portray You in a Tasteful yet Undeniably Pathetic Light |
| Can You Cry on Command | ? | Because | A Few Tears might Help |
| Any Good Friend will | of course | move to Comfort You | So Discerning actual Romantic Concern from This May be Difficult | But Most People are largely Incapable of Believable Subterfuge | ! | And This Method has the Plus Side | of Immediately Gauging the Shade of any Particular Interest | ! |
| If They Move to Discuss Your Feelings with You | Then It's Pale | or Entirely Platonic |
| If They Move to Distract You | With an Outing | while Expressing Their Utmost Sympathy for Your Plight and Their Utter Ire for Your Friend | then It's |- Probably -| Flushed | =:B |
no subject
| Or | Have You Assessed Their Actual Interest Yet | ? | Because | If Not | And You Know that They're Single | Perhaps Stage a Break-up with a Non-Existent Beau | Or | If You have any Amicable Pityfriends | Convince Them to Break Up with You Noisily in Front of Your Desired Beau | In a way that Manages to Portray You in a Tasteful yet Undeniably Pathetic Light |
| Can You Cry on Command | ? | Because | A Few Tears might Help |
| Any Good Friend will | of course | move to Comfort You | So Discerning actual Romantic Concern from This May be Difficult | But Most People are largely Incapable of Believable Subterfuge | ! | And This Method has the Plus Side | of Immediately Gauging the Shade of any Particular Interest | ! |
| If They Move to Discuss Your Feelings with You | Then It's Pale | or Entirely Platonic |
| If They Move to Distract You | With an Outing | while Expressing Their Utmost Sympathy for Your Plight and Their Utter Ire for Your Friend | then It's |- Probably -| Flushed | =:B |