(no subject)

[activatingaggro]

[The video screen flickers on.]

[The footage is a little shaky, and every twitch of motion makes the screen spasm with static. But if the picture's grainy, it's still impossible to miss Sipara's face peering down into the camera.]

[She's wearing armor, and there's the faint sound of snoring in the background, echoing slightly in the cave.]

sup, fuckerns, guess wherne I am?
 

[The image flickers, the video gradually growing brighter as she turns the camera. A flash of stone, cragged from age and damage, and then the screen goes white.]

 

in a goddamn cave. and it's fucking daytime. >:O

so, like, herne's  a warning forn yrn suprneme leader and all that shit:

when you go flarping, sparne yrnself the trnouble and just fucking cull yrn team rnight at the starnt. >:{
 

Comments

[refiningspacetime]

| Wait | When did You Start Flarping | ?|

| And | Do I Need to Drive Out and Fetch You | ? |

[activatingaggro]

uhhh, lmao, fornevern ago? >:P

awwww, dude, arne you wornrnied about me?? <>

[refiningspacetime]

| You did Not | Why didn't You Tell Me | ? | =:/ |

| Um | No | Why would I ever be Worried | About My Dear Paletroth | Heading out into Our Society's potentially Most Murderous Game | For some Gaudy Costume Jewelry | ? |

[activatingaggro]

uhhhhhhh, idk. who knows why?? its a goddamn mysterny. >:P

and wow, rnude, i'm not doing it forn some lame-ass costume jewelerny, tyvm. >:I

[refiningspacetime]

| Then Why |- Are -| You Playing | ? | Surely Not for the Glory of It |

| Or at Least | I Hope Not | You've never Tried for Highblood Approval Before | And I have to Say | While I suppose That would be a Positive Development | There are Much Easier Ways of Gaining It |

[forgottensebayt]

1. [DISAPPROVING] i feel as if i must remind you that team-killing is not considered a valid way of earning poinst in any form of competitive flarp.

2. [WARNING] in fact. it is more likely to incur you points than earn them. even in the cases in which clouders may feel sympathetic (ie team abandonment, team incompetence, excessive casteism that goes to the point of destroying team unity, team-mates who's personal appearance and/or smell is offense to at least 3/4 of the group), they are still obliged to at least issue an infraction in order to discourage further incidents from occurring.

[activatingaggro]

well, good thing i'm not playing forn poinst, nerndlet. >:}

since when do you know flarnp rnules??

[forgottensebayt]

1. [BLAND] i have been a registered clouder since i was six.

2. [CURIOUS] what are you playing for, then?

[refiningspacetime]

| She has a Highblood Beau Whom She is Desperate to Impress | I Suppose Their Horns must be an Anomaly | Because | To Quote | She Stated They Are |

| Ahem |

|- hells huge >;} -|

[forgottensebayt]

1. [CURIOUS] oh? that seems unlikely, given her predilections, but i suppose flushed can strike us all in the most unusual of ways.

2. [CURIOUS] why did you merge your quirks instead of just quoting her?

[fleetnpcs]

[|| Supreme leader? ||]
[|| Maybe you should get away from the entrance. ||]
[|| Because the sun must be frying your pan. ||]

[activatingaggro]

nah, brno, my pan's grneat. takes morne than a few inches of sunlight to burnst thrnough this headfluff, srny2say.

[activatingaggro]

and lmfaooooo, fuck off.

if i gave you an orndern rn, you'd totes follow it. lbrn herne.

[fleetnpcs]

[|| Holy shit. ||]
[|| Why don't you try it? ||]
[|| And then we'll see. ||]

[activatingaggro]

okay.

close yrn eyes, count 2 ten...

[activatingaggro]

and rnemove that stick you've got jammed all the way up yrn wastechute, tyvm.

[fleetnpcs]

Most trolls will find by the time they hit Ascension, they will have cooked outside at least once - at an explosive lights ceremony, if nothing else! However, while most trolls have cooked outside, relatively few have experienced the unbridled joy and sense of danger that comes with cooking outside- in the daylight.

For most meals, you will find that you do not actually need a grill, or any other sort of cooking utensil, to ensure that your meal is cooked all the way through. Simply leaving it out on the pavement in direct sunlight, with a magnifying glass towering above, will prove an equal to any sort of fancy oven...

IMPORTANT NOTE: If at any point you begin to smell something akin to smoked bacon, you should immediately go inside. Solar radiation is a tricky thing: sometimes it can bypass your husk and begin burning your muscles and ligaments before you even notice!

[activatingaggro]

dude, no.

[fleetnpcs]

In times of crisis, some trolls have resorted to deviant acts such as CANNIBALISM. While this is a social taboo, it is worth noting that the problems with this extend far past that: the consumption of troll flesh is actively detrimental to one's health due to the high fat content, and the fact you will be culled shortly afterwards by your local friendly policeradicator.

ON GRUBS: Some would argue that, as the larval form of our population, there is no true distinction between consuming grubloaf and troll flesh. If you ever meet such a person, the advised course of action is to cull them for the greater good of our society.

[activatingaggro]

wtf arne you even doing?

do you just, like, wait forn someone to say something and then trnoogle the most batshit thing you can find??

[fleetnpcs]

Now, you might be saying to yourself: well, Johnny, this man sounds mad!

But I'm here to assure you that everything you read on this page is 110% true, or your caegars back. Grub juice is one of the hardest components to cook with, and many recipes take great pains to ensure that the cook properly drains the grub beforehand. But I am here tonight to tell you that this is honestly COMPLETE BULLSHIT.

In the pre-Tyrian Empire, when trolls lived wild and free across the plains of our great continent, they didn't have time to do things like drain grubs, or bake bread. Instead, they hunted, and what they caught, they would consume whole, before it had even fallen to the ground!

[fleetnpcs]

hahaha,, geez seed-para,,
why the fuck are you playing flarp?? are you in it to make little bitty sprouts cry?? or is that just a happy side-effect,, you big bully??

[activatingaggro]

pfff. yeah, that's, like, totes my rneason, rnight therne. ain't a night wornth having if i'm not snatching candy from a wrnigglers cocoon.

[fleetnpcs]

well,, shit,, why even bother with the gaming then??

i mean,, YEW'RE not the one stuck on an island,, |8P you can just walk up to a wriggler,, go KA-POW,, PUNCH RIGHT IN THE FACE,,

and steal their candy that way,,

[activatingaggro]

b/c some of us don't beat the shit out of wrnigglerns forn fun, duh. >:P